I'm a girls girl, unless...
- niya bobban
- Jun 7, 2024
- 4 min read
By Niya Bobban
If you are a girl who uses Tiktok, then you must be well known with the slang known as a “girls girl.” For those who aren’t familiar with the term, a girls girl is a category of girls who are fully supportive of every girls’ actions and emphasizes a sense of sisterhood, in which these girls tend to be surrounded by a female friend group. While the word might seem to contribute to supporting an positive and united female community, it was also the cause of tearing women down and creating separations from continuous jealousy. The word, while destined to unify women of all characters, unexpectedly caused extreme controversy, which creates a debate on if reinforcing the girls girl trend will actually lend a hand to the incredibly split community of women in social media.
In order to be a girls girl, you must abide by the following,
Do not put down other women in an effort to get male validation
Always put female relationships before ones with males, and always be in a female predominant friendship.
Respect the girl code (an unwritten set of rules in a girl friendship)
View other girls as allies rather than being competition
Be the upmost opposite of a pick me* girl
*A pick me girl is a term created primarily from Tiktok, which refers to girls constantly seeking male validation, often putting down other girls in the process.
Most of these rules might seem like common knowledge for all girls, yet there are always deceitful undertones that lie within these rules that most do not always say out loud. Certain actions from being a “girls girl” have often led to broken friendships, bullying and isolation, and creates a label which, regardless, amasses even more competition and comparison within girls. Going against the ways of a girls girl seem to create an remarkable amount of blind hate upon other girls’ decisions, without realizing that they are contradicting the one principle they should stand by. Let’s look at a few users’ reactions to growing use and definitions of this word.
Ok_Contribution7532 on Reddit states…
“Don’t get me wrong, I think you should hype up your girlfriends if you are a woman. If you feel the need to tear down other women around you, side-eye them, or whatever other poor behavior in order to impress a guy you’re into, that’s one thing, and it’s bad. But most of theseexpectations of being a “girl’s girl” are kind of ridiculous or are used to alienate women that are seen as a threat, which is the exact thing that the trend was supposed to deconstruct.”
Next-Reply7519 on Reddit states….
I am a girls girl through and through. I will never be caught putting a man over a fellow girl ever! Nothing drives me more up the wall than seeing friends leave one of their girlfriends behind to go home with a guy, or girls hooking up with their boyfriends or exes. I will go out of my way to make sure other girls around me are safe, even if I don't know them. I will do everything in my power to never backstab another woman, after being on the receiving end of that.
Both of these users’ statements show contradicting opinions on the overall lifestyle associated with being a girls’ girl. The first user points out how this trend leads to an accumulation of peer pressure among women’s decisions, creating yet another standard for girls to follow. The second user emphasizes on the positive aspects of being a girls girl, while also highlighting the standards of successfully being one.
I decided to create a survey on my own to compare the variety of answers that associate with the girls girl phenomenon. A total of 18 people answered the question, although having quite a hard time with this question.
“Let's say you have two important people in your life; ur girl bestfriend that u have known for many years of your life that you can always trust, or your two year girlfriend/boyfriend, whom you are planning your future with and marrying. Your boyfriend had found an incredible job offer, but you need to relocate in a different area immediately. Unfortunately, your girl bestfriend is going through a difficult time, and is in desperate need of your help. If you do pick one of the choices, you lose the relationship with the other. What would you do?”
If you want to answer this question, click on the form!
13 people, or 72% of respondents had answered keeping their girl bestfriend, while leaving their boyfriend. Now why might this be? Girls feel as though they must always, under any circumstance, help their friends in need even if it means that they should sacrifice their own lives. While this seems very selfless on the girls’ end, what many do not realize is what would happen when a girl had picked the other option. The thing is, there is truly no correct answer for this question, and answering either choice should not create a hateful environment on the female community; this is simply an example of an intention the “girls girl” trend puts forward, as it forces girls to pick an option that would benefit the idealogies of sisterhood, without recognizing how it could harm the girl itself.
Either way, being a girls girl or not, one thing is definitely clear; The uprising of intra-sexualcompetition is continuously being exposed to the younger generations through the forms of social media. With this into play, multiple factors such as internal jealousy and labeled lifestyles (such as being a girls girl) influence girls’ line of reasoning and creates unnecessary blind hatred to those girls who don’t fully go by stereotypes. Although the thought of the creation of this trend was supposed to be a harmless way of building sisterhood, it only created a deeper dent in the unified community we worked so hard for.
If you want to answer this question, click on the form!
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