When Losing is Winning

“I will never be enough.”

These five words have most likely lived somewhere inside you, and quite frankly, I hate how casually we say them, how easily we believe them, and how we continue to let these words dictate our bodies and our mental and physical health. 

I wish I didn’t know what those thoughts felt like.

But I do.

And every girl I know does too.

We are taught that our bodies are problems. We are taught that our worth is directly tied to how little of ourselves we leave behind.

In Western society, disordered eating has become so normalized that many girls don’t even realize what they’re doing is dangerous. We normalize skipping meals, obsessively checking calories, comparing body types online, phrases like “am I overeating?”. And somewhere along the way, we no longer think about our eating as maintaining a “healthy” lifestyle. Our eating becomes engulfed by thoughts of control, guilt, and fear.

But who are we to blame the girls? Social media and the modern beauty industry have created an environment where unrealistic standards are constant and unavoidable. Girls are exposed daily to images that promote an ideal body type, often unattainable and unhealthy.

Research shows that exposure to such images increases body dissatisfaction, which is a major risk factor for developing eating disorders. 

These pressures are combined with family attitudes, peer influences, and a diet industry, which has generated over $70 billion annually by selling products promising thinness as the key to happiness and acceptance. Alarmingly, studies indicate that 42% of girls as young as 9 express a desire to be thinner. By adolescence, more than half have engaged in behaviors such as meal skipping, calorie restriction, or purging.

We should NEVER treat disordered eating as a choice or a simple lifestyle decision; it is a serious health issue with devastating consequences that have affected millions of girls across the world. Physically, it can cause hormonal imbalances, weakened bones, cardiovascular problems, and nutrient deficiencies. Mentally, it is linked to anxiety, depression, and obsessive behaviors that have a lasting impact on their lives. 

According to the National Eating Disorders Association, eating disorders have the second highest mortality rate of any mental illness, yet remain severely underdiagnosed and undertreated, particularly in individuals whose body sizes do not fit common stereotypes.

This epidemic is indicative of an age that recognizes a woman far more for her looks than for her capacity or character. This narrative must be changed, as we should believe real strength comes from encouraging self-acceptance and pushing for societal change that puts health and well-being ahead of appearance.

Begin with small steps. When you see friends skipping meals, check on them with care. Bring snacks to school and share them. Stop praising weight loss as always positive, because you can't know its cause. Be someone who makes eating feel okay again. If a person criticizes their body, shift the talk or remind them they're more than that. Above all, set an example. Eat the food. Talk to yourself. Welcome everyone to the table. Solutions don't need to always to fix people, just make it simpler for them to pick healing.

Girls should be able to feed their bodies without dread or remorse They should receive assistance in developing a healthy relationship with food and with themselves. It's time to acknowledge that norms in society that tell girls they are never good enough are the real issue, not their bodies.

So maybe, just maybe, the real win is when we stop accepting loss as the only way forward.