More than a Fantasy: The Harmful Fetishization of Lesbian Identity

In a world where queer visibility is increasing, lesbian women are still battling a persistent issue—fetishization. Too often, lesbian relationships are not seen as valid expressions of love, but as spectacles for male pleasure. This problem, rooted in both media and societal behaviors, distorts the reality of lesbian identity and causes real emotional harm.

From pop culture to pornography, lesbianism is frequently portrayed not as a legitimate sexual orientation but as a temporary thrill or a phase to be “fixed.” Songs like Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl and Drake’s Girls Want Girls trivialize queer experiences, reducing them to experiments or fantasies for the straight male gaze. These portrayals don’t just exist in entertainment—they influence how lesbian women are treated in real life.

Mainstream pornography is another major player in this distortion. “Lesbian” categories are largely consumed by straight men, and much of the content is created to satisfy their fantasies—not to reflect the reality of lesbian relationships. As a result, queer women often feel invalidated, disrespected, or even unsafe when expressing their identity.

This fetishization also contributes to the erasure of bisexual, pansexual, and non-binary people who are in relationships with women, as their identities are often viewed as fake or attention-seeking. Worse, some women face inappropriate comments or are told they “just haven’t met the right man yet,” which reflects a dangerous mindset that tries to reframe queerness as something temporary or fixable.

Being a lesbian is not a phase, a joke, or a performance. It is an identity that deserves the same dignity and respect as any other. Ending the fetishization of lesbians starts with reshaping how society views queer love: not as something to be consumed, but something to be respected.

Let’s make space for real representation. Let’s stop the fantasy—and see the people.